Music has many uses. It can be used to pacify us, to energize us or to motivate us. Going on a run? Bring along the John Williams’ Olympic theme might help. Or you could possibly listen to the theme song from Chariots of Fire, or Eye of the Tiger from Rocky. Chances are you have your own song picked out by now if you’re an avid runner, but you get the idea. We live in a world with so much music that there’s a piece of music that’s right for every moment, and fits the way you see it. It all contributes to my idea that life needs a soundtrack. There is music to work to, music to play sports to, music to drive to and of course, there’s music to have sex to.
This is not a new concept. Music has been used to get people “in the mood” for a very long time. This idea is most associated to R&B artists like Barry White, Marvin Gaye or R. Kelly. Back in my failed stint in college (two glorious semesters of failing, what a way to squander a full scholarship), my first roommate was this guy named Bobby. Don’t let anybody tell you those housing surveys mean anything, because of the four roommates I had that semester, I had exactly zero things in common with any of them. Bobby was on the football team (I’ve never actually been to a football game in my life, so no common ground there), was a year older than me (okay, sure, not that big of a difference), was from inner-city Detroit (as opposed to my upstate New York suburban upbringing), was married (I had had three serious and three not-so-serious girlfriends, but had no thoughts of marriage) and we shared no classes or interests. In any case, his wife would visit every other weekend or so. I usually knew she was there because I would wake up to her singing along to The Color Purple in the common room on a Saturday morning. Always the same scene, always the same song, over and over again. I have no evidence that she ever saw the rest of the movie. This is one musical memory of her. The other one was that, if I was in the hallway on my way to the room, and I heard R. Kelly, I should just turn around and find somewhere else to be for the night. I made the mistake once of going into my room and never would again. All I saw were legs, but it was pretty obvious what was happening.
Everyone has music that acts as an aphrodisiac. Don’t lie to yourself, you know you do. If you’re reading a blog about music, then you’re either moderately invested in music as a concept or you’re one the friends I’ve guilted into reading this. In either case, I guarantee that you have music that gets you in the mood, and preferred music for the actual moment. I don’t know your tastes, but at least admit that you have it. For me, it’s trip-hop. There’s something about that Bristol sound that just does it for me.
And yes, I’ve had sex listening to Tricky and Massive Attack before. A couple of times, really. Not all the time, you don’t want to make it commonplace or anything. It’s right up there with birthday sex or that time your partner let you do that thing that you don’t ever tell anybody about.
On that note, it’s very possible that you and your partner don’t necessarily see eye to eye on your preferred “mood music.” Maybe you like getting it on to thrash metal, because that’s just how you get down, but your partner only wants to listen to The Cure. I don’t know, and I’m not going to ask. That doesn’t mean that you’re incompatible or anything. It just means that you’re both individuals in spite of it all. Just be aware of it. Just make sure that for every time you get to listen to Sepultura’s Bloody Roots that your partner gets a time were they get to listen to Pictures of You. Unless of course you have some kind of rigid (heh heh, “rigid”) dom/sub relationship. In that case, yeah, the dom gets to pick the music.
But back to my point. I’m not saying all of Tricky’s music gets me in the mood. But there are certain songs that just bring up the right imagery for me, and they definitely help set the mood. This gets a little into my overall feelings on Tricky, which you’ll hear about at the end of the week. But suffice to say, in my opinion, Tricky has some tracks that are sexy as hell.
Speaking as a heterosexual male (because that’s the perspective I know best, for obvious reasons. If this is the same for everyone else, so be it, I can only expertly talk about my angle on this), I find the striptease to be one of the sexiest things a woman can do. It’s the enticement of the slow reveal of the female from, coupled with the right eye contact and sensual movement. Damn! There is nothing sexier. And I’m not talking pole dancing. Sure, it’s a nice prop, just not necessary. The striptease does not mean the same if the woman doesn’t actually want you, I don’t care how convincing she can be. With the right partner, it is devastatingly sexy. And I’m betting if I asked one hundred heterosexual males on the street right now, they would back me up on it being at least one of if not the best thing a woman can do to get you in the mood. Now, one of the core elements of a good striptease is the music. It helps to set the stage, and gives her something to move her hips to. A striptease without music just seems…awkward. I’ve asked around, and every man has an “ideal” song for this. One of my friends swears by Danzig’s She Rides, and that’s a good one. But for me, it’s Tricky’s Overcome. I could live with Veronika or Parenthesis, too, but Overcome is my number one selection. There’s something about the heavy bass, the wispy flute and Martina Topley-Bird’s throaty, whispered lyrics that just…does it for me.
Music has many parts in our life, and that should never be restricted to just our prim-and-proper public persona. Sex is a part of our lives just like anything else (maybe not on the same level as eating or breathing, and if so, good for you, but at least it should be part of any healthy romantic relationship), and it just makes sense that music should be a part of it. The vast majority of songs out there are love songs of one stripe or another, so why wouldn’t the natural extension of lust songs or sexy songs or music to make love to be there. I don’t care if you like making the beast with two backs while listening to Turkey in the Straw or the theme song to The Snorks, but denying that music can have an enhancing effect on sex is like saying kissing has no place in sex. Go beyond just using music so that your parents don’t know you and you partner are rounding second base and heading for third, find the music that gets you hot and heavy and bring it into the bedroom once in a while.
But use different music for “solo time.” There’s no reason to waste the good stuff when you’re just, as Tom Waits says, “making the scene with a magazine.”